redesigned | pre-intro for spider feelings.

pre-intro for spider feelings.

[Am I dreaming? Is this a dream? What does it say about me that I would dream this? Trapped in a giant unpoppable bubble in the middle of a swamp full of zombies and freakishly friendly fauna, I--I do not want to know what that could say about me. The next time mom warns me not to snack late at night I'll listen, I swear.

Oh, man, I hope this is a dream because I really doubt any teacher is going to accept 'a zombie ate my homework'. Though considering the subject on today's menu maybe I'll get lucky and they'll have a sense of humor about the whole thing. I mean--brains! At least that's worth a chance for extra credit, right? I'd think it was funny. Uh, if it wasn't happening to me.]

--frontal, parietal, occipital, temporal!

[that sure was a kid in spider-spandex backflipping over a zombie and tapping it on the head. . . and after a beat there's AN ELECTRIC SHOCK. the zombie groooaaaans, spits out a few scraps of paper, and twitches off. Miles picks up his backpack and stuffs the scraps inside, sighs]

I would really like to wake up now.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

If you do this with supervillains, they're gonna take advantage of you.

Uh, do what? What am I doing?

I don't know what school's like for you or anything, but I was bullied and picked on a lot.

[I just past tensed ... myself.]

But you can't do that with the villains. It's just gotta be one way: your way.

Or the highway, right. I know that. But, uh, you're not a supervillain.

[wait] And--you? Really?

It's not like I've been Spider-Man forever, and even after that, well, there are always jerks.

But either way, supervillain or not, you just have to stand by it. Unless you want to say something and the other person isn't forcing it out of you. Then you just need courage.

Wow. Bet they feel really stupid now, though.

. . . Yeah. Yeah, I'll--I'll remember that.

If you ever find out, let me know, though it'd probably be better if once you got out of here, you stayed out.

Here. I don't even know what or where here is.

Louisiana.

Apparently.

Just be glad it isn't Brazil.

Louisiana? Whoa, okay, it was clear enough something's wrong because of the swamp and I know I didn't go far enough to even get out of the city so I guess Louisiana makes as much sense as anywhere but, how--what--why, what's wrong with Brazil?

It's really far from New York City.

Uh, yeah.

So what is this? Do you know? Is it another--you know, like the flood?

No, it's not. Actually, I was a little too busy working on my witty banter to remember to ... ask all the necessary questions.

But I know a lot of people are stuck here, and head's up, there's some weird dimensional stuff. People know who I am because of the movies made about me, not ... me.

What, like they think you're the actor? They don't know about Spider-Man in Louisiana?

Dimensional stuff sure sounds like a supervillain thing though.

No, like, there's more than one movie, but Tobey still starred. And I think I'd know about that. I kept tabs on that stuff.

And yeah, I think whoever's in charge of this place is bad news. I bet some superheroes, but uh, not our superheroes, so maybe I can ask.

You kept tabs--so you're sure? So it's just. . . this place being weird some more, then.

If there's one thing that is clear about this place it's that it's definitely bad news. Uh, not our superheroes? Who's--? I mean, they're not from where we are? They're new?

It'd be weirder if I hadn't been to another dimension where some people showed up and started calling the Ultimates the Avengers. I get the feeling that there's stuff like that all over, and someone here is Hawkeye, but he's not that Hawkeye. And there's the Hulk, too, but he seems kind of like a stoner. Weird, right?

And uh, not exactly. I'm talking Batman and Superman's little sisters, so to speak.

Really? So. So it's like someone's making dimensional--soup. And there are different, uh, versions of people, that's all normal? But they're all here, Hawkeye and Batman and Superman's--are they actually the little sisters, or--? Oh man is there a dimension where they're real? And uh, the Hulk is--though I guess this place is in one piece so whatever he's doing is working for him? Oh my god this place is amazing!

Well if someone out there is grabbing superheroes from all different dimensions, uh, that's really not good, that's huge, that's bad, but--they're all really here? And you're here! That's amazing.

[Amazing, huh?

I'll take that, though I can't say I'm too used to this. It's not the first time he's said it, so I'm half-expecting to get a Hollywood star soon.

I bet Tobey Maguire has one. The jerk.]

I never asked if they actually were sisters, but you're right on the money with everything else.

But Dr. Banner mentioned that there's apparently something bad on its way. And that we, uh, we don't know how to deal with it. Maybe that's why we're all here, but you've gotta wonder: if it's grabbing Supergirl and Batgirl, why isn't it grabbing Batman, Superman, and the other big names? Actually, SHIELD could probably pull a whammy on it, too. Or, hey, even better, this place could go for the entire Jedi council and then we'd have the one Jedi who strangely looks a lot like Nick Fury.

But they aren't. It ... seems random. I mean, yeah, you've got us, but then there's ... the other people. Though most of the people I've met have been powered in some way, so maybe that really is what it is. A desperate last shot, and our worlds are in danger unless we stop it.

[after taking a moment to absorb this]

That's--that's pretty heavy stuff.

Maybe. . . uh, wouldn't grabbing the big names leave all those worlds in danger? Maybe that's why it's not taking them, if all the superheroes were taken it would mess everything up so even if they or, we did stop whatever's coming there wouldn't be anything to go back to anyway because all the bad guys are still there without anyone to stop them. Or, uh, maybe it is just random because if the bad thing coming is really that bad--whatever it takes, right? So they should be going all out. It. It doesn't really matter I guess. No matter what, if there's a thing coming, we'll--all the people here--we'll stop it.

Wouldn't say no to a Jedi or two, though. Or ten.

I don't like the idea that our worlds are the ones that are endanger because we've been dragged here, but yeah ... uh, I've definitely considered it. And the Jedi, I mean, before Anakin blitzes them, they can do pretty good without a couple guys, so why don't we have one? Then again, maybe they're wearing civvies.

But yeah, we can try to stop it. Though as you can probably guess, I'm used to failing at that and trying to pick up the pieces.

Okay, now I'm gonna be looking at random people trying to figure out if they're secretly a Jedi.

And I--I don't remember any failing. Please, you're a hero. There are a lot of heroes here. We'll stop it.

Just be really careful. Jedi pick up on that thing.

[Hero worship is really—I mean, not that I'm assuming that's what it is, but it's a little ... odd. I should ... I should set him straight.

As tempting as it is to bask in it.]

Look, I did mess up. My school got blown up. And uh—I wasn't much good in a lot of things. The flood. The giant monster going through the city. And more. You can't go thinking I managed everything if you—uh, if you wanna do this yourself.

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